How To Let Go of Anger

I made a mistake. There. I said it.

I’ve made no secret about my ups and downs over the past 18 months. It has not been pretty. And I am a pretty close-knit person, but I believe it is time to open up about everything that happened … even if I do it in pieces.

One part of me that has undergone a drastic reformation over the past 600 days is my anger. Anger towards myself. Anger towards my family. Anger towards the people in my life. And anger in general. I admit, I do have a short fuse. But it is getting longer. And that has taken a bit of work.

Why this focus?

Anger does no one, and I mean, no one, any good! It stresses you out. It makes you jittery. And really, not much fun to be around. And the angrier you get, especially if it is with the same person over and over, the level of toxicity rises and never really goes down. Trust me on that.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get frustrated and upset and bothered. But I have made a conscious effort to contain my “anger” and use it for good.

Find your triggers. This is probably the most important thing you can do to eliminate the anger and stress. They say that knowledge is half the battle, and they are right. My triggers were my relationship, my physical surroundings, my job, and my family. Once you dive into where the angry triggers come from, you are able to manage them.

Manage the stressor. Sometimes the stress trigger is hard to manage or eliminate, but it is possible. If topics of conversation stress you out, don’t let it come into your life. I know when I am home, I don’t like to talk politics. I’m too libertarian for my family, and that is okay. I know that. I manage it. I changed jobs as well. I moved to a new apartment. I changed the relationship.

Find enjoyable activities. I do not believe we can eliminate stress from our life. But I do believe we can manage it in a way that gives more to our life. I choose to write and relax. I take on challenges that are random. (Like writing and producing a short film.) But I am also still running, engaged in politics and growing my business.

All told, I’m much happier and healthier than I have been in years and I attribute it to managing and limiting my anger. Plus, it makes me happier.

 

FOCUS: Don’t Sweat!

Selected Life Lesson
Never let them see you sweat.
-Lisa K’s Life Lesson from Mason City, Iowa

Richard’s Thoughts…
One lesson I learned from a lawyer years ago was to never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to. Of course he was referring to when he has someone on the witness stand, because that advice does not translate to the real world quite as well.
We need to ask questions because we don’t know all the answers!

But Lisa’s lesson is definitely true. As someone who has worked in politics and been in the public spotlight, nothing can be a surprise. If you act surprised, everyone will see it and it will change their emotions and perceptions of you, and sometimes that is not a positive change.

Life is hard. We all know that. But we always get through it. It’s like the old saying, “The only way out is through.” Well, there is no need to sweat on the journey. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and in the end, it will work out just how it was supposed to.

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Why I Deleted Path

Simple: I don’t live on my phone.

Sure, I do e-mail, text, Twitter and Facebook on my phone and I read my blogs and catch up on world news on my phone, but I don’t need to be super-connected to people. I love my friends and we text each other and send photos on occasion.

If you’ve never heard of Path the idea is quite simple: It’s a mobile Facebook that is limited to your closest 150 friends. Okay. The idea is unique.

But, I don’t have time for another social network. I just don’t. We all have limits and I’ve reached mine.

How are you handling the growing technology influx?

 

FOCUS: On You!

Selected Life Lesson
Put yourself first. Even with hard decisions you have to think about you and only you.
-Maura M’s Life Lesson from Omaha, Nebraska

Richard’s Thoughts…
This week’s lesson is not meant to be egotistical or to make you out to be more important than anyone else. Quite the contrary: You can’t be of service to others if you don’t focus on yourself first.

It’s no surprise that my most requested workshop is FOCUS: Making the Most Out of You!, because you are the most important person in your life. You have to protect you and your time. You have to take the time to live and not let life live you.

I have a simple solution for you: Sometime in the next seven days, when the work day is over, go home and relax. Be completely present with your life at home. Go enjoy a cup of tea and your favorite book. Play with your kids. Don’t watch television. Be the main character in your life.

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