Getting What You Seek

Fact: We get what your brains are focused on. Nothing more and sometimes much less.

Gorilla Study Image

37Signals recently summarized the infamous Invisible Gorilla study where researchers found that 83 percent of radiologists, in reviewing x-rays of lungs, missed a superimposed image of a gorilla. Why?

Because they weren’t looking for it.

When I lead team building workshops, that lesson is something I drive home in how I give directions and it is a lesson for leaders:

The less you direct in black and white terms,
the more freedom your team has to discover new and great things.

The same is true in life:

The less you focus on one tiny thing, or the end goal,
the more likely you are to find amazing opportunities
and experiences along the way.

Open your eyes, uncloud your path and see what is out there.

Newsletter: Start Climbing

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Over winter break, I took three hours and locked myself away to review 2012 and plan for 2013. This includes goal review, life review, deep reflection on what went well and what went poorly, budgetary reviews and then 2013 goal setting for all areas of my life.

And on that point, I can see that there are a lot of unknowns that I am going to find the answer to this year. Some will be harder than others, but not any less worthy of my time.

That’s why I do the quarterly and yearly review … to find what is worthy of my time. To make this fun, I have found 13 things that I am unsure of going into this year.

  • Health: Can I manage my health better for a full year without marathon training?
  • Knowledge: Can I manage all my reading that I dream of doing?
  • Budget: Is my plan solid enough to hit a great goal by 30?
  • Creation: Do I have the energy to create two books this year?
  • Web: Can I increase my visibility?
  • Politics: Is my random idea something with validity?
  • Love: Where does it take me?
  • Creative: Can I produce the short film I’ve written with a great director?
  • Happiness: How do I maintain happiness in the Big Apple?
  • Kindness: What can I do to be more kind to friends and strangers?
  • Time: Have I learned my lesson from poor time management?
  • Darkness: Have I seen enough darkness recently to remain in the light?
  • Hope: How do I keep hope alive and thriving in my life?

I control some of those things, and some of them I don’t. And that is the key.

UNDERSTAND CONTROL
I don’t – and can’t – control everything. And neither can you. Once you understand that and let go of the notion that you can, life really and truly begins to happen for you.

UNDERSTAND THE MOUNTAIN
Life is a series of ups and downs. It sounds overly simplistic, and it is, but it is also true. There are going to be some amazing high moments in your life and there are going to be some amazingly low moments in your life. But to get to the top of whatever goal you’re dreaming of chasing, you’re going to have to go through the valley. And it is in the valley where the demons lay waiting for you. My advice: keep going.

UNDERSTAND FAILURE
So you’re climbing up the mountain and you slip down. Or maybe you stop climbing for a few months. In my world, that is okay. We all need a break. We all need to stop and re-focus sometimes. That is when failure is okay. But it is when you stay down, you don’t pick the goal back up and you don’t keep climbing. That is when we and you have a problem.

Are you ready to start climbing?

Be Original

In the land of so much noise, we have to pick and choose what messages we actually pay attention to and let into our lives. I have actually become pretty strict with what I let into my life now, and it is a goal of mine here in 2013 to be super-focused.

But it is hard with all the noise that bombards my e-mail inbox and news feed. However, as our world get noisier and noisier, the spammers and junk mail continues to flow in at seemingly faster and faster rates.

I can hardly keep up with it. But one piece of spam I got last week was the last straw for me:

Spam has to be originalThis came to me via Twitter, and I laughed as I read it. I get this message a few times a month and I’m tired of it.

Not because it is annoying (it is). But because it is unoriginal. Seriously. Get creative. Do something to make me click on the link if you’re so desperate.

But this Twitter spam message isn’t the last straw. We all do it. We do the same thing everyone else is doing. We Tweet what we’re eating even when our resolution is to eat healthier. We bitch about politics without understanding policy. And we keep doing it.

I think that is why I don’t post 3-4 times a week, but rather once or twice. I want whatever I create to be original. To be new. Each time I sit down and write, or paint, or sing, or whatever, I want it to be amazing and not boring and over-done. I have one chance in my life to be original and amazing. So do you.

FOCUS: Be Open!

Selected Life Lesson
My husband and I walked into a store we don’t shop in and we were quick to judge this girl — we were both ashamed. She was very sweet and helpful.
-Lori R’s Life Lesson from Des Moines, Iowa

Richard’s Thoughts…
Last week’s lesson was about assuming. How did your reflection on that lesson go?

When we assume, we make decisions that are not based on rational thought and reasoning.
Sure, I recently wrote that I am a proud conservative, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t get along, or encourage friendships and relationships among those who think and view the world differently than myself.

It’s tough to not judge when you have a history built up. But just try it.
People can and often do surprised us.

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